Who Am I?

          I am but with a mien of a true-blooded Filipino. A complexion of kayumangging kaligatan, brown eyes and a stature of a model, by model, I mean a thin body yet neither so tall or vertically challenged. Though my late grandfather has christened me with an Ethiopian appellation, i.e., Robele, both my parents are no foreign race. Inevitably because of the letter ñ in my last name, it was misunderstood as Spanish. An old story about my descendants reminds me that a volume of my blood runs the nature of a faith healer. A culture in our family that whenever one has a fever, instead of consulting to a physician, we consult to our aunt, a healer and she would give us diagnosis only believers of them can conceive. Another stunning event also, many decades ago, my late grandpa was blessed with immense wealth but because of his excessive generosity he was left financially incapacitated. For 3 years, I’ve felt my lolo’s genuine generosity worked in me. I’ve experienced it through others. On the other hand, I am blessed today for I have with me a philanthropist. A lot of factors mold my character and not just mere genetics. Through various settings that I’ve been through, go with it remarkable and unremarkable experiences. This has taught me the value of stewardship, prudence, cheerfulness and charity.

            I’ve lived most of my life in an urbanized area. Where I used to reside, were families of average class. A place that is very accessible to schools, public market, malls and hospitals. We had a big and active community. The Catholic Church which positioned in the center of Villamonte where most people spent their Sunday morning to pray for Spiritual food or healing. Recently, changes took place; my family now is staying near the boundary of the city, almost rural. Where I live, are people of mixed socio-economic status. The place can be barely accessible when it comes to colleges/universities and hospitals, for it will reach you an-hour to travel. By God’s grace, we live in abundance but not in terms of financial matters. I was raised seeing and knowing both of Roman Catholic and superstitious beliefs. The former talks about Father God, Jesus Christ, Mother Mary, angels and saints while the latter talks about wicked spirits and supernatural beings. But that doesn’t literally mean I have to conform in their ways, for I cannot deny in myself the curiosity within me. I would like to believe in the case that every wide reader is a Bible-reader, as one of them; I had known that the Holy book warned me of the world’s ideas, of false testimonies and of the truth.

            What keeps me going until now, despite of being broke, is faith. No past praying for because I know everything that happened, is happening and is about to happen is God’s will. I let God to be the driver of my life, therefore, whatever afflictions that I may struggle, I believe, Jesus is not just with me, but fights for me. So I need not worry. Someday, in God’s time, I could be a member of missionary acts foundation. Doing 2 great things I long the most; travel and share. I could be a travel writer whom I could spread God’s love through books. A businesswoman, too, who could share God’s blessings through a foundation. May God shower upon me strength, understanding and above all, wisdom. May I then, patiently wait for all these to come in His due time.

“Judge me, o Lord; for I have walked in mine integrity:

I have also trusted in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide.

"Examine me, o Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.” – Psalm 26:1-2

Elias, your Alias

My manong IBARRA'S FRIEND ELIAS, I have prepared you the missing Chapter of the Noli Me Tangere, which I got from the book Jose Rizal: Life, Works and Writings. I have italicized the very words that moved me a lot. I trust the story below will be of help to you so you wouldn’t be at loss of what to say, in case someone might ask the love story of your chosen pseudonym.

In the original manuscript of the Noli Me Tangere, there was a chapter entitled "Elias and Salome" which follows Chapter XXIV - "In The Woods". This particular Chapter on Elias and Salome was deleted by Rizal so that it was not included in the printed novel. His reason for doing so was definitely economic. By reducing the pages of the manuscript, the cost of printing would correspondingly be reduced. The missing chapter runs as follows:

In a nipa hut by the placid lake, Salome, a winsome girl in her early teens, sat on a bamboo batalan, sewing a camisa of bright colors. She was waiting for Elias to arrive. She was beautiful "like the flowerets that grow wild not attracting attention at first glance but whose beauty is revealed when we examine them carefully". When she heard footsteps, she laid aside her sewing, went to the bamboo stairway where Elias stood carrying a bundle of firewood and a bunch of bananas which he placed on the floor, while he handed a wiggling dalag to the girl.

Salome noticed her lover was sad and pensive. She tried to console him; asking about the girls at the picnic which the Guardia Civil soldiers disturbed, looking for him. He told her in a gay mood that there were many beautiful girls, among whom was Maria Clara, the sweetheart of a rich young man who had just returned from Europe.

Afterwards, Elias rose, preparing to leave. Speaking in a soft voice, he said: "Good-bye Salome. The sun is setting, and it won't appear good for the people to know that night overtook me here." He paused for a moment, then continued: "But you've been crying. Don't deny it with your smile. You've been crying."

She was crying, for soon she would leave this house where she grew up. She explained: "It is not right for me to live alone, I'll go to live with my relatives in Mindoro. Soon I'll be able to pay the debt my mother left me when she died…to give up this house in which one was born and had grown up is something more than giving up one's being. A typhoon will come, a freshet, and everything will go to the lake…"

Elias remained silent for a moment; then he held her hands, and asked her: "Have you heard anyone speak ill of you? Have I sometimes worried you? Not that either? Then you are tired of my friendship and you want to drive me away…"

She answered "No, don't talk like that. I am not tired of your friendship. God knows that I am satisfied with my lot. I only desire health that I may work. I don't envy the rich, the wealthy, but…"

"But what?"

"Nothing. I don't envy them as long as I have your friendship."

"Salome," replied the youth with bitter sorrow. "You know my cruel past and that my misfortune is not of my own making. If not for the fatality that at times keeps me thinking, with bitterness, if it were not that I don't want my children to suffer what my sister and I suffered, you would have been my wife in the eyes of God. But for the sake of this very love, for the sake of this future family, I have sworn to end with myself the misfortune that we have been inheriting from father to son, and it is better that it should be so, for neither you nor I would wish to hear our children lament our love, which would only bequeath them misery. You do well to go to the house of your relatives. Forget me, forget a love so mad and futile. Perhaps you'll meet there one who is not like me."

"Elias," exclaimed the girl reproachfully.

"You have misunderstood me. In my words, there is no complaint against you. Take my advice, go home to your relatives…Here you have no one but me, and the day when I fall into the hands of my pursuers, you will be left alone for the rest of your life. Improve your youth and beauty to get a good husband, such as you deserve, for you don't know what it is to live among men."

"I was thinking that you might go with me," Salome said softly.

"Alas," rejoined Elias shaking his head. "Impossible, and more so than ever…I haven't yet found what I came here to seek - it's impossible. Today, I forfeited my liberty."

Elias then narrated what happened earlier at the picnic that morning; how he was saved by Ibarra from the jaws of a crocodile. To show his gratitude, he vowed to repay the good deed done by Ibarra, even to the extent of sacrificing his life. He explained that anywhere he would go, even to Mindoro, the past would still be discovered, sooner or later.

"Well then," Salome said, looking at him tenderly: "At least, when I'm gone, live here, stay in this house. It will make you remember me; and I will not think in the distant land that the hurricane had carried my hut to the lake. When my thoughts turn to these shores, the memory of you and of my house will appear to me together. Sleep where I have slept and dream – it will be as though I were beside you."

"Oh," exclaimed Elias, waving his hand in desperation, "Woman, you'll make me forget."

After disengaging himself from her tender embrace, he left with a heavy heart, following the lonely path lined with the shadows of the somber trees in the twilight. She followed him with her gaze, listening sadly to the fading footsteps in the gathering darkness.